Nobody else in UK kink dating publishes this findably. The word consent does not appear anywhere on either UK competitor we checked, and the site that does have real material on it buries the page under a title tag that mentions neither consent nor conduct. Here is ours, on its own page, with its own title.
While everyone is clothed and sober, you agree what is on, what is off, and the word or signal that stops it. This is not a formality to get through before the interesting part starts. It is the interesting part, in the sense that it is the thing that makes everything after it safe to do at all.
A hard limit is off, full stop, not open for discussion on the day. A soft limit might be possible with more trust, different conditions, or a different mood, but it is never a default yes. Both are stated clearly in advance, and neither is treated as an opening position to be worn down. A limit is not a starting bid, and anyone who treats it as one has told you everything you need to know about them.
A safeword is an agreed word that stops a scene immediately, with no explanation required and no need to justify using it. Because some activities can make speaking difficult, a non-verbal signal, such as dropping an object or a specific tap, is agreed in advance as well, so that stopping is always possible.
Negotiation is not a single conversation that covers everything forever. Checking in during a scene, briefly and without breaking the mood entirely, is normal and expected, particularly with a new partner or a new activity. If something has shifted, it is said, not guessed at.
The time afterwards where people check in with each other, physically and emotionally, and come back to a normal state together. What that looks like, whether it is quiet, practical or something else entirely, is agreed as part of negotiation, the same as everything before it.
Including in the middle of a scene, including after saying yes earlier, including with no explanation attached. The safeword or the agreed signal ends things immediately when it is used, every time, without exception.
Some negotiated kinks involve play with struggle, refusal or resistance as part of the scene itself. Where that is the case, it is negotiated in detail in advance, exactly like everything else on this page, and the safeword ends it immediately the moment it is used. Nothing on this site presents a non-consensual act as desirable, exciting or a fantasy worth having, and any activity that involves the appearance of resistance is, underneath that appearance, one of the most carefully negotiated kinds of play there is.
For roles and vocabulary, see BDSM roles explained. For what to do once messaging starts and before you meet, see staying safe.
The conversation two or more people have before anything starts, while everyone is clothed and sober, to agree what is on, what is off, and how it ends. It is not optional and it is not a formality.
A hard limit is something that is off, full stop, not up for discussion on the day. A soft limit is something that might be possible with the right conditions, more trust, or a different mood, but is not a yes by default. Both are stated in advance and both are respected.
A safeword is an agreed word that stops a scene immediately, no explanation required. If speaking is not possible, a non-verbal signal, such as dropping an object or a specific tap, is agreed in advance as well, so consent can always be withdrawn.
The time after a scene where people check in with each other, physically and emotionally, and come back to a normal state together. What it looks like is agreed as part of negotiation, the same as everything else.
Yes, at any moment, including in the middle of a scene, with no need to justify it. A safeword or the agreed signal ends things immediately when it is used.
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