Two things go wrong far more often than anything else: someone asking for money, and someone pushing to meet in person before anything has been agreed. Both are worth treating as a warning sign the moment you see them, not after something has already gone wrong.
Not for a gift card, not for help with an emergency, not for a deposit toward travel to come and see you. This is the single most consistent pattern in romance and dating scams. Action Fraud, the UK's national reporting centre for fraud and cyber crime, publishes current guidance at actionfraud.police.uk on how these scams typically unfold. If anyone you have matched with asks you for money in any form, stop responding and report them to us.
Being asked to switch to a personal number or a messaging app within the first few messages is a common precursor to both scams and harassment, because it moves the conversation somewhere we cannot see it and cannot help if something goes wrong. Keep things on the site for as long as you are comfortable, and be wary of anyone unusually insistent about moving quickly.
Meeting somebody in person for the first time is about finding out whether you get on and whether what you have each said online matches who they actually are. It is not the place for anything you have negotiated to actually happen. That is agreed separately, later, once you have both had a chance to judge each other properly.
Control what is visible before you write to anyone. We can tell you what the privacy controls on this site do, and we cannot promise you that anybody viewing your profile is unrecognisable, because no site can honestly promise that. Discretion is something we support, not something we can guarantee.
You can block another member at any time, without needing to explain the decision, and reports are read by a person. If someone pressures you after you have said no, or will not stop after you have disengaged, report them.
The Suzy Lamplugh Trust publishes practical guidance on meeting people you have met online, including for dating specifically. If you have experienced sexual violence, Rape Crisis England and Wales offers support and a helpline. The National Domestic Abuse Helpline (0808 2000 247) is free, confidential and available at any hour. All three are British and independent of Kinky Singles.
This page covers money, meeting and photos. See consent and negotiation for what is agreed between two people who want the same thing, once you have got that far.
Someone asking you for money, and someone pushing to meet in person before anything has been agreed. Neither is a coincidence, and both are worth treating as a warning sign rather than bad luck.
No. Nobody genuine on this site will ask you for money, a gift card, or help with an emergency. Treat any such request as a scam and report it immediately.
No. A first meeting is a conversation to see whether you get on and whether what you have each said matches in person. Anything beyond that is negotiated separately, later, never on the first meeting.
Action Fraud is the UK's national reporting centre for fraud and cyber crime. The Suzy Lamplugh Trust publishes personal safety guidance for meeting people you have met online. Rape Crisis England and Wales and the National Domestic Abuse Helpline offer support and are independent of Kinky Singles.
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