If you have never said any of this out loud and you are not sure whether what you want has a name, it almost certainly does. This page names the common ones plainly, in British English, with no snobbery and no assumption that you already know the words.
Join free todayThis page names activities and interests. It does not describe them in detail, and nothing here is written as erotica.
A kink is a broad interest, something that adds to an experience without being a strict requirement. A fetish is narrower: a specific object, material, body part or scenario that plays a central role in what someone finds appealing. The line between them is not always sharp, and plenty of people have both.
Restraint, using rope, cuffs or other material, as part of a negotiated scene. Ranges from decorative to functional, and always agreed in advance, including how and when it ends.
Struck sensation, by hand or with an implement, agreed in advance with a clear limit on intensity and a safeword that stops it. Not a punishment. A negotiated activity two or more people choose together.
Anything built around contrast in sensation, temperature, texture or touch, rather than impact specifically. Often a good starting point for someone new to physical kink.
A dynamic where one person takes a directing role and another follows it, agreed and bounded in advance. Can involve no physical activity at all. See BDSM roles explained for the vocabulary that goes with this.
Leather, latex, denim, particular fabrics or items of clothing. The material or object itself is the focus, not just what it is worn for.
A scenario or set of characters agreed and played out together, with its own limits and its own way of stopping, like any other scene.
A specific body part, most commonly feet, as the primary focus of attraction, on its own or alongside other interests.
A specific outfit or role associated with it, worn as the focus rather than as background detail.
That is a normal place to start. You do not need a complete label before you join, and you can write a profile that says roughly what you are curious about rather than a fixed list. If what you are working out is more about a dynamic between people than a specific object, see BDSM roles explained next.
If you are a woman reading this and wondering whether the site takes that seriously, see kink and fetish dating for women. For how agreement is actually reached before anything happens, see consent and negotiation.
A specific object, material, body part or scenario that plays a central part in what someone finds appealing. It is a focus rather than a general interest, and it is common rather than unusual.
No. Specific interests of this kind are widespread, and most people either have one or have wondered about one. Not talking about it is common. Not having one at all is the less usual position.
Notice what you keep coming back to, in thought or in what you search for or read, and give it a plain name rather than a vague one. You do not need a complete answer before you join or before you write a profile.
No. Thinking about something and wanting to do it are not the same, and plenty of people are content to keep an interest as a thought rather than an activity. Neither choice needs justifying to anyone.
Creating a profile is free. Take your time and see what a paid membership adds on our pricing page when you are ready.
Join free todayAll members of Kinky Singles are consenting adults aged 18 and over.